Category Archives: 100 Words A Day

It’s Not My SQL Error

By lytspeed Posted in 100 Words A Day, Writing Leave a reply

MySQL error:
Table ‘not_really_named_this’ doesn’t exist (Errno=1146) 

This is the last straw. Over the last year, I’ve had repeated downtime problems with my web hosting company, and this morning, one of my clients sent me a note, saying that his site was down. Sure enough, his blog database is down, as are all the other blogs I host.

Not just down, though. Gone. All of the MySQL tables in all of my hosted databases, just gone. I’m posting this while I wait for them to restore from backup, assuming they have one.

Anybody know a reliable, inexpensive web hosting company?

Just Ducky

By lytspeed Posted in 100 Words A Day, Writing Leave a reply

The young checker seemed to be struggling a bit that particular Friday morning.

“How you doin’?” I asked.

“Oh, I’m … fine,” he replied.

“Just ducky, eh?”

He looked up at me.  “Ducky?  Is that a word?”

“Uh … it was in my generation,” I said.

“Hmmm.”  He looked back at his scanner.  “Expanding my vocabulary,” he said.

“Yep.  You’re learning how to speak ‘Old Fart.’”

He tried to contain the chuckle, unsuccessfully.  “That might come in handy some day,” he said, grinning.

Yeah, I’m an Old Fart, but he was frowning when I got there and smiling when I left.

Stand By for Emergency Tones …

By lytspeed Posted in 100 Words A Day, Writing Leave a reply

“Fall with injury.  Elderly woman, middle of the street, bleeding from the head.”

The dispatcher spoke in even tones, as she was trained to do, but when I heard the last four words, my heart sank and my eyes welled up.

I didn’t follow up on the call; I know the paramedics got there quickly, and I prefer to think that they were able to help her.

It’s ironic.  Had I been the dispatcher, the same emotions that drive my compassion would have slowed the call response and threatened the elderly woman’s life.

Thank God I’m just a computer guy.

Justified, or Just-a-Jerk?

By lytspeed Posted in 100 Words A Day, Writing Leave a reply

Setting:  Taco Bell drive-through.

Me:  “I’ll have a #1 with a normal taco and a Diet –”

TB:  “Okay, I have a #1 with a soft taco and a Diet Pepsi.  Anything else?”

Me (annoyed):  “No.  Listen, please.”

TB (pause):  “I’m sorry.  Go ahead.”

Me:  “A #1, with a normal taco instead of a Taco Supreme, and a Diet Pepsi.”

The drive-through operator apologized again.  I pulled to the window, where I apologized for snapping.

I’ve worked fast food.  I know it can be tough.  But is it too much for me to expect them to listen to my order?

Feeling Saucy

By lytspeed Posted in 100 Words A Day, Writing Leave a reply

“Weaksauce.”  I’d heard it before, but it never really registered until I saw it in print in a Wired blog entry.  As I thought about it, I realized I’d also heard “awesomesauce,” and “crapsauce” in conversation over the years.

Www.urbandictionary.com (occasionally NSFW) that online bastion of proper word usage, relates “weak sauce” to Taco Bell sauce packets and “awesome sauce” to the online animated character Strong Bad.

As a HomeStarRunner fan, I like the latter, but I can see where the former fits.  After all, any Taco Bell sauce is crapsauce compared to the awesomesauce that is Taco John’s Superhot.