The Survivor

for Lannette

 

The reflecting pool stands still

Against the backdrop of empty chairs.

The Gates of Time measure off the minute

When everything changed. Golden

Cranes soar above the museum floor,

Elder brethren to the one above her bed.

 

“But she’s not a survivor; she wasn’t in the building.”

 

In her ears, the blast still rings

Plate glass shards impale like arrows,

Smoke still swirls

Whenever people disbelieve.

Every doubt another piece of rubble

Raining

Down.

 

But like the grand American Elm,

She stands tall, a survivor.

The_Survivor

Image ©2004, Poem ©2010 by Stace Johnson

Honorable Mention

Last year, while surfing Craigslist for writing opportunities, I saw an entry for a haiku contest. The idea was to write and submit “Hipster Haiku,” which would then be compiled into a book. Eventually, I did get a note back that my haiku was not chosen, but that I was a “runner-up.” That’s about what I figured would happen, and I chalked it up to a poetry.com-style scam. At least I got a few new haiku out of it, right?

My judgment may have been a little rash, though. Prompted by another writer friend, Chuck Anderson, I performed a Google vanity search. Most of the entries on the first pages actually did have something to do with me, with the exception of the private investigator in Broomfield, Colorado (ironic; that’s just down the road) and the persistent prison inmate in Minnesota who is seeking pen pals.

What caught my eye, though, was an entry a couple of pages in about haiku. That took me to this page, which lists 200 Honorable Mentions for the Hipster Haiku contest in alphabetical order. Sure enough, my name was 84th on the list, and I am evidently the only Colorado Honorable Mention. That’s more than I thought I would get for that contest.

Anyway, the fact that my poems weren’t chosen frees them up for publication on my website, so I’ll post them here before adding them to the poetry category. Enjoy. Quality feedback is welcome.

SWM
Tall, fit, curls, soul patch, Vespa
You … me … my scooter

SWF
5’6″, blonde, blue
Seeking … anyone

Razr phone, iPod,
MySpace, Converse tennis shoes.
Why’s she still lonely?

Regarding Train Wrecks …

Michael Jackson. Princess Diana. Danny Bonaduce. Anna Nicole Smith. Britney Spears.

Through the vulture eyes of the media, we watch the lives (and deaths) of famous people. If we watch television at all, or even visit the grocery store, it’s unavoidable. It’s almost a vampiric obsession; we we tune in to Entertainment Tonight and receive our daily ration of psychic energy, sucked straight through the camera lens from the life of some famous train wreck. (Since when is it “entertainment” to watch the tragic events of a person’s life?)

The latest is Andrew Dice Clay, and his new television show. God, I thought we were rid of him years ago, but here he comes, rising from the depths like a leather jacket leviathan, hoping to feed on us as we feed on him in an ouroboros cycle. We get to see a train wreck as it happens, he gets money and fame, which contributes to the train wreck, which gets hime more money and fame.

It’s easy to blame the media and paparazzi for this. After all, they are the ones really profiting from the focus on disturbed celebrities. But it’s important to remember that the reason they profit is because we tune in. We buy the magazines. We talk about this stuff around the water cooler.

In short, we are responsible, to a large degree, for the demise of these people’s lives. Yes, I know that blogging about this is not helping stem the fervor; the Web is media, and this essay will add to the 48,900,000 hits that Google currently provides for the search term “Britney Spears.” However, I’m deliberately choosing not to link to any of the sensationalist articles or advertisements for any of the above individuals, because I want to limit my contribution to the problem while still addressing the problem itself.

There’s a reason why I don’t watch much TV. If I watch too much, I feel disgusted with myself for passively contributing to the problem. There are many other things — active things — that I can do, like writing, working on web pages, playing music, reading, or visiting museums. In short, creating and learning.

Instead of watching a train wreck, I could be viewing preserved trains at the Colorado Railroad Museum, a link which I’m not ashamed to include.

Instead of contributing to the destruction of a person’s life, I could be creating a fictional character for a short story.

Instead of reading a lament on a television tombstone, I can write a sonnet for my wife.

In the end, I choose to contribute to the problem as little as I can. I would rather be part of the solution, by creating instead of destroying.

“A year after your death, …” (after Czeslaw Milosz)

A year after your death, I wrote a poem, but I hadn’t really grieved yet. Instead, I fled to Colorado because I finally had the freedom to do so.

Two years after your death, I curled into a ball on the couch and cried uncontrollably.

Three years after your death, I began to feel the guilt in earnest. Did I do the right thing?

Four years after your death, I was too busy worrying about Y2K to think about much of anything.

Five years after your death, you gave me a gift. It had to be you. Who else would stash a brand new wooden toilet seat with a hand-carved trout on it in an evergreen bush the same day my wooden toilet seat at home broke?

Six years after your death, I met your son and attended his wedding.

Seven years after your death, my marriage was in tatters, and I didn’t have enough energy to think about you. I’m sorry.

Eight years after your death, I thought a lot about our time at Brother Falls.

Nine years after your death, I had a new love and a new family, but I still found time to remember my inadequacy in regard to you.

Ten years after your death, our parents were finally ready to watch old home movies again.

Eleven years after your death, this writing prompt reminds me how much I still miss you.

2007 Resolutions

Yes, like every other blogger in the blogosphere, I’m going to post my resolutions for the new year. I did this once before, in a prior incarnation of the Lytspeed Communications site, back before the term “blog” existed. I did keep a few of those resolutions, namely dropping the weight (45 pounds, actually!), playing more live music, volunteering for Colorado Recording for the Blind and Dyslexic, and learning more about coding HTML, but not in 1997.

Yes, my online home turns ten years old this year. And though I don’t have the popularity or visitation that mainstream bloggers have, I do feel pretty good about being ahead of the curve.

I think my resolutions for this year are quite a bit more reasonable than the ones I made in 1997. Maybe I’ll look back in another nine or ten years and see how many of them I accomplished this year.

Okay, enough stalling. Here are my resolutions for 2007:

Manage Finances Better – I have always had a hard time with finances, and I’m getting tired of always being behind the 8-ball. It’s time for me to get it together this year.

Take Care of My Health – My heart attack scare of a couple of years ago really woke me up, and I have made some changes to prevent that from happening again. However, there are some other concerns I need to address before they become Big Issues.

Write Every Day – Practice doesn’t make perfect, but it does make one better at what one practices, and I haven’t practiced writing enough. I need to write every day. What I write and which medium I use is immaterial; if I write every day, I will get back in the habit I used to have in college, when I was most prolific. Yes, that means more blog entries, too.

Publish Some Fiction – 2006 was a great year for me as far as writing goes. I published several articles at ComputorEdge, sold four poems to Romantic-Short-Love-Stories.com (now defunct, unfortunately), and actually managed to turn a meager profit for the year after deducting my writing-related expenses. However, I didn’t accomplish one of my main goals for last year, which was to publish some fiction. It’s time to complete the set this year.

Do My Taxes On Time – Last year, I was late — very late — in doing my taxes. I guess this could be part of managing my finances better.

Buy a Variax – Line 6 makes the ultimate geek guitar, and I want one so bad I can taste it. (Yum! Rosewood!) I have all kinds of ideas on how I could use it to make things easier in my gigs.

That’s it. Hopefully I’ll get somewhere with these goals this year, and if you’ve made resolutions, I hope you reach your goals as well.